Here it is, something that might curl some toes and make you a little bit uncomfortable. I can tell you that I’m going to be saying a few words like sex, virginity, purity--All that Jazz. If you’re easily offended or just hate talking openly about anything that might raise an eyebrow, this is your chance. Turn back now, or calm the heck down and get over it. Being raised Christian, i believe it’s vital that we talk about this stuff. More often than not, these particular things are considered taboo, and I mean, I get it. It’s a touchy subject but that is not an excuse to sugar coat it and just ignore that this is one of the most important things we can talk about. “Let’s talk about sex, bay-be. la la la”
I get why you should save yourself for your significant other. I get why God wants that. It makes sense. You don’t want to be giving yourself, your virginity, away to someone who you might not even end up with.
Here’s a little back story— when I was about 17-18 my dad took me out to dinner and we had a daddy and daughter date. My favorite!! He explained to me the importance of keeping myself “pure” until marriage. He then gave me a purity ring in which I wore proudly. Until one day I had sex. My dad asked for the purity ring back once he found out and obviously never gave it back again (I would like to add that i hold no resentment towards him, we’re still besties). I really felt like crap to say the least. I thought so low of myself. And that feeling of extreme shame and guilt led to a lot of years of pain.
The Christian culture makes us feel like if we don’t follow every step of the bible, we’re basically going to hell. Sexual shame is REAL. A feeling of humiliation and disgust toward one’s own body and identity as a sexual being, and it’s a belief of being abnormal, inferior and unworthy.
I believe Jesus loves you no matter what. I believe that we all make mistakes and that shouldn’t make us any less worthy. Christian friends who had sex before marriage, don’t be so hard on yourself. Those of us that chose to have sex before marriage need to stop being made to feel ashamed. And maybe those that believe that waiting is better need to understand that, too. Choosing to have sex before marriage for whatever reason doesn’t make you a horrible human. It just makes you human. Humans make mistakes. But we are still very worthy and enough.