Girl! Put On Your Boxing Gloves
Its been a hot minute since i’ve written something. To be honest, its been weird lately. I haven’t felt like my true self. I won’t sugar coat it. This has been a season absent of words. Absent of writing and inspiration. Absent of creativity. And I am walking around carrying the weight of the thousands of words I want to string together to create something meaningful, something honest, something so close to people's hearts, they feel like they can reach out and touch it.
I was so sure that the new year was going to start off with great boom! But it truly hasn’t. In fact i’ve been feeling super uninspired, my creativity lacks, and super insecure.
So yeah, its been weird.
I’ve gone through things in life that have somehow created some amount of trauma in my life. Things that have made me insecure. Afraid of not being enough, afraid of rejection. You get it. I go through seasons where im cruising and im unstoppable, then i go through seasons where all the things ive held in for so long start to get the best of me.
I’m not writing this for sympathy. I guess im writing this because i always have to remind myself that i have a community full of people that can relate and vise versa.
Insecurity is a pain in the rear. It makes people think so low of themselves and i hate it. I think its important to always remember how much of a bad ass you are. We are. No matter what your insecurities are, you ARE a bad ass. You’ve been through shit and here you are. Killing it! You are not weak, you are human. When i’m in the dumps i always have to remind myself to get the f up and get over it. I am strong, i am talented, i am loved. So that’s where i’m at. I’m an optimist haha. I will NOT allow insecurity get the best of me.
This all might seem like pretty basic information to you, but my hope in writing it, is that to one person it won’t just be basic information, but it will be a welcome mat. That it will be a safe place. That they will read these words and say; me too, me too, me too. That they will feel less alone. That they will see my heart on a page in a different way than before. That we can all strive to know each other deeper and louder. Because no matter what we go through- I am going to be okay, and you are too. You are too.