How I Knew I Was Ready For Marriage
I had someone reach out to me recently and request a blog post all about how to know when you're ready for marriage. Being completely honest I have thought about writing a post like this but I always held back because I never want anyone to think of me as someone who thinks I know it all or have it all figured out. That is FAR from who I am. I am thankful to this sweet girl, who for the sake of privacy will not mention her name, she gave me that little push that I needed to write this.
I am hoping that by writing this post it will help anyone in a relationship or even if single, struggling to know when the right time for marriage is.
Check out these signs that helped me realize I was ready to take the next step.
1. You know WHY you want to be married
There are pictures of rings, tuxedos/ white dresses all over your Pinterest feed—Do you just want to be able to say you’re married, or do you really want to spend your life with your partner? Think about why you want to get married.
2. You’re secure enough to talk about where you’re the most insecure.
We don’t connect through our pretend perfection. We connect through our shared struggles. Your partner is going to know what you struggle with probably better than even you do. Marriage is about complementing each other’s weaknesses. If you keep pretending you don’t have any, that’s going to be a weakness that’s really hard to work through.
3. You know and trust your partner.
No matter how long you guys have been together, you need to know your partner completely. Don’t get married just because you’ve been dating for four years. Get married because you know your partner. You know their past and you know their hopes and dreams. You can imagine their reactions to certain things. You know all this and you still love them. Beyond that, you trust them. Trust is vital for a marriage, so make sure you can trust your partner.
5. You don’t want to change your partner.
Don’t marry your significant other and think they will change. Marry them because you love them as they are. Both of you will have flaws but can you get passed that?
6. You’ve tackled some of the monsters hiding in your back closet.
Marriage will not solve any of your problems. Marriage will show you just how many problems you really have.
7. You make long-term plans together.
In a new relationship, you can change things at the last minute and don’t have to plan beyond your next Saturday night date. Once you get serious and decide to commit to each other, you need to make plans together. Know what each of you want, and make sure you’re OK with working through these goals and plans together.
8. Your family and friends like your partner.
When you’re newly in love, you might feel like that nothing else matters. Once you’re committed, you realize that everything matters. Initially, you might not care that your dad doesn’t approve of your partner. But over time, this small rift will affect your life and your relationship. If your family and friends don’t like your partner, where is your support system? I say this so strongly because this was CRUCIAL to me.
9. He has the qualities you want for a husband & the father of your children
This was very important to me, actually. Your relationship may be fun and all but does he have the qualities to be a responsible husband and father? Is he going to give you and your children the life you deserve? Will he be okay with how you plan to parent your children?
10. You are ready for a crazy-ass adventure through the absolute depths and heights that life has to offer
Picture the worst moment of your life.
Now picture the best.
Now picture someone standing right there next to you, holding your hand, trying to read your face.
11. You can’t imagine your life without your partner.
Overall, you’re in love with your partner. You can’t see yourself with anyone else. You can’t see yourself without your partner. If you know you can’t be happy with another person, and you’d be incredibly unhappy without your current partner, then let it go and enjoy your loving relationship and marriage!
Marriage is messy and it is about compromise. But I swear to you marriage is the greatest thing in life. My husband and I don't have a perfect marriage by any means. No one does. But it is my kind of perfect. I love being married to him and doing this crazy life with him. I am BEYOND blessed to have him.
Much love, Laura
"They say love is blind. I disagree. Infatuation is blind. Love is all-seeing and accepting. Love is seeing the flaws and blemishes and accepting them. Love is accepting the bad habits and mannerisms, and working around them. Love is recognizing all the fears and insecurities and knowing your role is to comfort. Love is working through all the challenges and painful times. Infatuation is fragile and will shatter when life is not perfect. Love is strong and it strengthens because it is real" - Unknown Author